[BLOG] Reflecting On My First Film Production…
Right after my high school graduation, I was ready for the war that is making a film. I had been working at a production company that paid me VERY well so I bought my own gear and editing equipment so that I wouldn’t have to rely on anyone for that. I had already decided that by 21, I was going to be making a feature film or working on a successful television show, collecting checks and providing for my family. I saw it therefore that’s what it was going to be.
Life has a funny was of saying, “Girl…it ain’t gonna happen like that!”
College is a new experience. I’ll repeat, college is a new experience. I think from day one I knew I wasn’t interested in anything it had to offer. The fatigue from high school mixed with the overwhelming student body that resides on campus is…a lot. I fucked up my first year of college because I piled on the classes. I wanted to get the hell out of there so I could begin my film career as soon as possible.
Once Sophomore year hit, it wasn’t the classes that took me away from making films – it was the partying. It’s your second year, you have friends on campus now. You’re well acquainted with the campus. You’re involved in clubs on campus. So, I was again distracted.
It was the transition into Junior year when I was like “Okay, I experienced college, now I want to make a film.” That winter before my Junior year I did just that.
The poster you see above was a web series I was working on before web series’ became popular in the winter of 2011 titled, “Craven.” The film was about a half-man, half-bird villain named Craven, who along with his two idiot sidekicks, wanted to take over the world starting with NYC (of course!).
The idea actually spawned from a character I had created during middle school named Cleatus, a superhero goat. Cleatus was something that came from a school trip to Utah and it blew up in my school to the point where it prompted me to build upon the world. Craven came from that world.
It was the first film I was producing on my own so I had no idea that it costs so. much. money. I, of course, chose an action film so it was going to be even that more expensive. Looking back it was wildly ambitious to do such a thing, but hey you live and you learn.
The most face-palming thing looking back was my audition process – which in a Starbucks! At the time, I had no idea that you can rent out spaces just for auditions so I had my actors doing all sorts of crazy shit in the morning in a crowded Starbucks. However, I did get some very, very talented actors, who were up to wearing superhero outfits in sub zero temperatures. I had got my friends to do most of the crew work, some were filmmakers, some were not so we were already testing the waters so to speak.
Fast forward through the endless rewrites from notes from friends and mentors to the night before the shoot. The night before any shoot always feels like Christmas to me. It’s like you want to get as much rest as you can so you can enjoy your gifts all day, but you have so much excitement in your body that you just can’t.
The shoot was amazing and the actors were very welcoming to my directing style – “be sad’ “be angry” “be happy.” It was very clear looking back that I was a writer who was directing rather than director who could also write. They worked with me, but I hadn’t yet developed a way of speaking to actors.
The scariest part of the shooting process is watching the dailies. When I finally looked over the footage I was horrified to discover that the sound was never on the entire time. (Gasp). There was a lot of out of focus footage as well. I felt so down on myself because it took so much to put the shoot together and to discover that you have footage that won’t really work is…heartbreaking.
The film never made it’s debut online and it’s something I’ve been thinking about doing recently. Now that I’m WAY more experienced as a filmmaker, I should’ve stuck by my film and released it anyway. It was my first real project and it’s why I’m a better one today. Failure is apart of the process to be successful. It’s not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I will release “Craven” in the near future.