[BLOG] 5 Ways For Artists To Get Over A Breakup!
The tools and devices for handling break ups vary on the person, but there’s something else going on when your job is sort of dependent on your feelings. There are other forces at hand when you’re unable to create due to having your feelings ripped to shreds. Most of those forces either directly or indirectly affect your job, your paycheck and your creativity. Having gone through this process this year, I can offer some insight on to how I got back on my feet and back into my creative zone. Now it won’t be easy and it won’t be immediate, but these five techniques will get you moving in the right direction:
1. Make it worth it.
The hell sweet hell you feel right now has to have something positive coming out of it. Write, paint, sing, blog about it. Instead of letting these feelings paralyze you, embrace them and make some really great art. This does require you to revisit the demise of your relationship, but when you do this you would be accomplishing two very big things: 1) releasing a lot that negative energy and 2) accepting what took place. You are going to be so vulnerable and exposed that when you finally make something out of it people are going to be able to relate in a way that you will take you to the next level as an artist.
2. Eat lots of comfort food.
I don’t actually mean food, although it does help (especially ice cream), but while you’re being a sloppy mess on the couch or bed or wherever you’re currently holed up in consume as much of your craft as possible. It doesn’t mean only the criterion, top 5 AFI films, but by watching or reading something relating to your craft you are subtly throwing yourself back in the mix of things. When I was going through it I only watched 3 different things: The Office, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and 500 Days of Summer. Find some of your guilty pleasure content and go at it.
3. Throw away everything.
Every and anything that reminds you of the relationship, throw it away. Erase the shit off of your computer, any clothing, any mail/papers, anything that can potentially drive you back to the bottle throw it away. Sometimes these things can put a mental block on you by just being in the house. Ridding yourself of the memories will help you to let go and will get you back into your creative state. Burning some of these items may help as well, nothing feels better than watching whoever broke your heart burn and burn. Toss all that shit and lets begin the moving on process.
4. Live & Let Go.
New experiences with new people, new places, will help you to get over some old experiences. Have your week of misery then have your week of freedom. Completely disconnect from life, but not in the way you’ve probably been doing it. Have a mini-vacation. Find a peaceful place far away from your troubles or if you cannot afford to do that go to a park, take a walk around the city. Meet someone new, enjoy the fact that yes this experience did bend you, but you did not break. You’re living. You’re not living with the person you thought you would, but that’s not on you. You did your part (i’m assuming), but now it’s time to let go. In order to do that you need to continue to live your life, as you’re doing right now.
5. Write it down again.
Having taken time away from your craft, let’s revisit it now. You’ll find that your pen will start to shake less, you’re heart will start to feel less tender and your writing will be much stronger. Your art will seem less impulsive and more deliberate. By the end of this you will be mentally strong and creatively invincible.
I’ve been in your shoes (very recently) and I can attest that time does help. You’ll have slip ups, you’ll have days where it feels like your heart is dripping black oil inside of you, you’ll rummage through their social media looking for hints of the person that might be taking your spot. You’ll write hateful message and never send them. You’ll blame yourself. You’ll blame them. You’ll call out from work until you get written up. You’ll go through this and at the end of it, you’ll still be living. If it’s some deep love, that feeling will linger, but not overtake you. It won’t consume you anymore. It’ll be a memory. You will keep living and your heart will keep beating until you meet the next person who makes it pause..
– melissa