It was mid October. I was going to class, enjoying the New York autumn, and looking for gigs. It had been mostly shorts and web series at this point but at least I was getting cast in shit. One day, I applied to another one of these online film castings. It said it was a feature film “to be shot on the fly with 4 characters”. The description for the character I was applying for: “bookish, boyish, non-threatening. Not a total wimp, but submissive”. His name was Ethan.  My cup of tea. I said what the fuck and sent my headshot and reel to these two guys making it, Jeffrey P. Nesker and Tom Wilton.

I got an email almost immediately after from Jeff, asking me to meet them in the city somewhere around union square at noon. I went to class and then went into Starbucks to meet these guys.  After a fantastic chat filled with good vibes and a quick read with the lead actress, the guys offered me the role. It was one of those instances where we all clicked. Shit. That was fucking fast. (Later on, Jeff would tell me that he pretty much cast me off my headshot. That’s some Mulholland Drive shit right there. Completely ballsy. Respect on that one.)

What followed the news was joy, followed by a burst of confidence, and followed by being scared shitless that there was no way I was pulling this off. I was leaving to Mexico City the next day and returning to what would be my first feature film. Fuck me. The moment I got back and started shooting, the fear was gone. I had worked the script in Mexico, and had embodied Ethan. I was ready to just say fuck it and have fun.

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I’m not going to say it was a walk in the park, because it wasn’t. Working on an Indie in any fashion is not easy, as anyone can agree with me. Everything is always a problem and no one ever has enough time.  Scheduling is a bitch, locations are a bitch, and you don’t have a lot of takes or rehearsal time, so you gotta go with your gut on each and pray that the director got what he wanted. All throughout, I doubted my performance and my work in the film, but what was done was done. Move on to the next thing.

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In the end though, Jeff somehow pulled it off. I got an e-mail months later with looping schedules (which I had never done) and I saw the first picture lock of Elsewhere, NY. I always have trouble watching my performances and I usually avoid it, but on this occasion, I was drawn immediately into the story, the film, the style and the characters. When the film came to an end, I didn’t remember half of the scenes I did and saw the guy as Ethan, not as myself playing someone. Some trippy shit there.

But to put it short, I thought the film was brilliant. A true auteurist piece by a director who I respect immensely and who together with me (since everyone else had already worked on a feature) worked on making our debut a strong one.  An amazing cast that taught me so much, and a producer and writer who I would continue to work with on countless projects, my first Indie was a treat to say the least. Now the film is off to the festival circuit, starting with a special preview screening in Edinburgh on Monday July 14. So, if your in Scotland, go have a butchers. If not, get ready for it, cuz it’s coming to you.