REFLECTION: THE CYNICAL OWL RAGES FOR TRAYVON
Tears fell from the lips of my team and I as we clutched our phones, eyes scanning the words, “NOT GUILTY.” A sickening feeling overtook me, the same feeling I had when I first heard the song Strange Fruit. You grow up knowing that at one point your skin dictated whether you’d be treated a certain way, but I never had to deal with that. My mother placed me in a predominately white private kindergarten school so I was aware I was different, but I never felt that way until one little girl asked me if I tasted like chocolate. Even then, at home I was being reminded that being black is a beautiful thing. It’s a powerful thing. I would walk through my house and hear Marvin Gaye and James Brown and feel appreciated. My home summer reading list included “The Spook Who Sat By The Door” and “Roots.” It’s the one thing I can undoubtedly credit my parents for doing. They made sure I knew black history and had respect for the culture. At 22, no one could ever make me feel different about my skin or my culture.
However, I felt it. I felt it when I first heard about the story last year. I felt it when I directed a film about it. I felt it even I as I read those words, knowing the outcome before it was even said. I battle between anger and sadness with a healthy dose of helplessness. What can I personally do to ensure this doesn’t happen again? How can I make Trayvon matter? How can I do my part as a black citizen to make cases like this go away? Since the Trayvon case, at least two more cases have reared it’s head in the media and who knows how many don’t even make it to the media. It makes me sick and helpless to a system who doesn’t give a shit about me or my people.
I watched the media tear down this baby faced boy and it broke my heart. They managed to incite a war between blacks who feel that black on black crime is equal to this. They managed to put an innocent deceased boy on trial. These things make me so angry and make me question whether I’m doing my part. I’m sure I’m not the only who’s been having that conversation with themselves. What can I do?
The Cynical Owl is designed to tell black stories through a unique lens, but more importantly to give us a home base. The need for more black faces in the media becomes more evident by the day. Young black kids growing up watched how this case unfolded then go to the movies the next week and don’t see themselves represented in anyway, of course they are going to begin to believe that they aren’t loved or cared for. That their lives are meaningless. For now, that is the role I’ve given myself and this company – to fill that gap. That is probably only a dent to a much bigger problem, but movements start small then they grow to something powerful. Grow with us. Help us tell this stories. Tell your stories. Let’s become powerful together.
Trayvon will not be forgotten. He will matter.