[BLOG] RELATIONS WITH AN ARTIST: No Ambition? Deal Breaker.
You ever dated someone that had absolutely no ambition whatsoever? Do you remember what it felt like to tell them all the wonderful things you did today and goals you want to achieve and the conversation went dry because they had absolutely nothing to add to the conversation? I had a flashback this morning when someone I used to date texted me “hey old friend”. I immediately rolled my eyes but I said to myself “you know what I don’t have bad blood for this person and I dated them many years ago, lets catch up”. I responded kindly. We made a small talk until he asked what I did for work. I told him all the wonderful things about The Cynical Owl. Our short films, the details of “RAGE” and “Fractured”, all the shoots and people we have met. He kept asking questions so I kept telling him what was up. The conversation went on back and fourth for about 40 minutes until I asked what he was doing now. When we last left off , he had no job, wasn’t interested in looking for one or continuing his education, played Xbox 20 hours a day and fell asleep with a Henny bottle in his hand. You guys see why I left? That was 4 years ago. I was hoping that maybe this time we can actually try to find common ground. Most of our heated discussions were based on him not trying to do anything positive with his life. Guess what was the response I got? “Oh, nothing really has changed, playing Call of Duty right now bustin ass lol.” I saw the text, paused and laughed for about 2 minutes to myself. This was the exact same text I received years ago when I tried to make things work out. After I wiped the tears from my eyes from the hysterical laughter I responded with “so you mean to tell me 5 years later that you are still not doing anything and just playing video games all day?” I was hoping he would say just kidding but I got a “lol yeah” back. I deleted the convo with no response. Through the humor I found with his texts, part of me felt a little anger. I just don’t see how you can throw your life away. He is so talented in writing and poetry but he never did anything with that. He was great with technology too and was so intelligent. I mean I’m a gamer so I get it. I even said why don’t you play for tournaments and turn it into a money maker. I got a flat out no. I was so puzzled that he never went out for opportunities but he rather mooch off me for a living.
I really try to understand why people don’t gather the talent they have and put it into good use. Is it fear? The fear to fail? We all fail at something at some point. It doesn’t mean to sit in your house all day and don’t be a “go getter”. Or is it because they are not motivated enough? In my case that’s impossible cause I pushed in the best manner I can to make him do something. If you feel your partner has some true potential, push for it without being so harsh. I mean sometimes if you show you believe in them, they might believe in themselves too. That didn’t work in my case obviously.You can’t forget you can’t do much with someone who doesn’t wanna help themselves. I also wonder if it’s just pure laziness. That’s a scary thought. To know you’re great at something and you just don’t care to follow up with it because it’s too much work. I don’t understand that “I wanna stay broke forever and hate myself” lifestyle. That’s not my style. I know a career is hard work and it can bring you down so low sometimes. I much rather go through the struggle of shaping my craft and grow in improvement than sit at home and not a give a damn about anything. Whichever way it goes, people like that I cannot date or relate too. If I can’t carry a convo with you about goals, aspirations or anything I am passionate about then what’s the point? If I am going to spend the rest of my life with you, we have to discuss what we wanna work for together. I want to see you trying. Even if it doesn’t work out that end, to see you not give up is such an extreme plus sign for me. A turn on as well I’d like to add. Now I am NOT saying you have to figure out something right away. It’s something that can take a long time for people. But in my honest opinion, everyone has a passion somewhere. It’s if you wanna look for it is the question.
Now the person I referred to in this post possible of changing and finding himself? I am highly unsure. I don’t know what he needs to be inspired but maybe it will come to him on a random day when he wakes up. Like “HEY! I WANNA BE SOMEBODY GUYS!” and a heavenly light shines upon him. However, he did inspire me to write this post so I guess something good came out of that conversation. Now if you are reading this and feel like you are this person get out there and find YOU. It doesn’t matter what age you are or where you are from. You want something find it and fight for it! It will lead you into some great things. If you wanna stay as you are, not give a damn about anything and you’re comfortable with that lifestyle, please stay the hell away from me.